Dreams

I have many things I want to do in my life and Some i may never do and others I already have..

When we moved here I new that doors were going to open, I new that we were going to have a better life up here, While there are parts I miss like I mentioned in my last post, I feel like we have a whole new world of opportunity up here.

Apart from always wanting to be a mum, I have also wanted to be a nurse, One day I think I would like to also be a midwife, but I have always wanted to do nursing, to look after people. Because I never completed year 12, I have always had a road blocks stopping me from applying, self doubt being a major one..

I have tried to study different courses since having the kids, but none of them I have loved, I have struggled to stay motivated and just not really felt like it was truly what I wanted to do... I was choosing these easier courses because I thought nursing was never really going to happen..

So a month ago I mentioned to drew that I really want to go to uni, I want to experience the uni life of making friends and studying and having that set time for me to learn, I shared that I really want to try and follow my dream of nursing, with his encouragement I started to research universities..

So I got into contact with someone from Careers Australia and enquired about there Diploma of Nursing, over the phone the person took all my information and then invited me to an open day which was yesterday, I had to sit a LLN test and if I passed that I would be in. So i studied up like crazy and did as much maths as my brain could handle as that is my biggest down fall.. I have to say about a week ago leading up to yesterday, I had a strong feeling that I was going to get into the course, because I new that it was meant to be..

So I got there and heard about the course and I instantly felt very fearful about it, What if this is too much? what if I cannot handle the study? what if the kids need me? what if I fail the test? ect... Then the teacher shared her reason why she became a nurse, she shared the story of having to nurse her own child, and while she originally had no idea why she had such a strong desire to do nursing, looking back now she could see why.. and just like that it reminded me of why I was sitting in that room..

I have a dream and Its been a dream for a long time! It is time to let go of fear, it is time to believe in myself, in who I am and who I can be..

Doubt is not welcome.. So i sat the test, did it with ease and gained Entry into Nursing!!!!

I have lots of what if's wondering in my head, I am far away from family support and still getting to know people, I think i am faced with challenges ahead, but you know what, I can do it.. because I am meant to do it..

Bring on this season, of where I am pursuing my dreams.. I am so excited! I am so excited to show my children that Mummy can pursue dreams as well, and that they can also!

I am not worthless, I am not useless..

I am so excited!